Learning To Say No

I used to be a complete ‘yes’ person till life happened and I got tired of being ridden all the time because everyone knew I would never say no to any favor they asked me to handle.

You could attribute your inability to say no to you being shy or not just wanting to have to deal with a person’s change in behavior but you just have to sometimes — especially when people take it for granted and start swarming you with requests.

Here’s how to learn to say NO:

  • It’s okay to be selfish from time to time. When you are faced with the yes or no option, throw caution to the wind and just say no. if it clashes with anything you have to do, say no politely and go about your business.
  • Don’t look for ways to do anything for anyone else when you know you have a full table. If you know it will make you uncomfortable, you shouldn’t look for what you can move aside for that. Don’t do it.
  • If you must, give yourself a challenge. Start with reducing the number of tasks you handle for a day or week or month depending on how often you let yourself say yes to stuff you really don’t want to.
  • Stay busy and also enjoy your free time. This isn’t the time to feel guilty for turning down any of the things you could have done for anyone.
  • When you really want to and you know it won’t interfere with anything you have going on, you can say yes.
  • Remember that it’s okay to be selfish and do nothing while someone else is sweating to finish their tasks without asking you to handle the burden.

This new choice might make a lot of people act differently because they will probably be surprised by your approach to things. With time, they’ll get used to it and then there will be added value and respect when you agree to a favor. Some people might not change though but you are doing this for you at the end of the day.


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