How to Survive an Angry Bae

I was watching an Indian movie once upon a time and this actress said “there is no married woman who has never considered killing her husband a few times”; it sent a chill down my spine. Surviving an angry bae can be something cute and fun until you find yourself in a closet tied up muttering “Plix, epp me.”

Of course, all women are different and have different quirks and ‘mumu buttons’ and so I will talk of how I survive my bae when she is angry and also draw from a few scenarios told me by friends.

  • There are three levels of angry bae.
  • Level 1: Angry but talking to you (e.g. you didn’t notice she changed her hairstyle)
  • Level 2: Angry and not talking to you (e.g. you promised to stop smoking and you came home smelling of cigarette)
  • Level 3: Angry and laughing with you (e.g. you cheated on her and you think she knows but aren’t too sure)

One article might not be enough to explain how to survive all levels, so I will start with level 1 and 2

  • Level 1: Ladies like attention and so when they go the extra mile to look good for you, they want to be appreciated. If bae is on Level 1, you shouldn’t have too much of a hard time surviving and appeasing her. Her talking to you is a good sign that she is willing to mend fences provided you accept that you’re wrong (which a lot of the time you aren’t) and pet her. A surprise outing, a box of chocolate, helping her paint her nails or something nice and thoughtful would get you through this.
  • Level 2a: If you really are at fault e.g. you promised to stop smoking and then came home smelling of cigarettes because you really did smoke, you would have to do more work. First of all accept that you’re at fault (go down on your knees if you’re the romantic type) and tell her that it was a moment of weakness. You went out with your friends and they were smoking and they ribbed you into joining them blah blah blah; after explaining, promise to do better and then leave. If she replies, it usually is a bad sign because she is gonna give you a tongue lashing. If she doesn’t, she’s probably going to come meet you indoors and tell you she understands and you’d both cry together or something.
  • Level 2b: If you really are not at fault and have evidence, this is one of the best moments (throwback to Kevin Hart’s Let Me Explain) a man can ever have. When she is mad at you, sit her down and explain to her exactly what happened e.g. She likes shawarma and so you went to a shawarma joint and some guys were smoking and there was nowhere else to sit down. After that tell her you did it for her but you see how she can repay you for being thoughtful and nice by acting up and end up by saying ‘it’s all good’ and going indoors. You’ve won bruh, guilt-tripping works every single time!

In another article, I will conclude with Level 3. Use the comment section if these worked for you.


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One Response

  1. Tawose Olajumoke 2 years ago

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