How To Not Be A Fagit

There are fagits everywhere. You can be heterosexual and still be an fagit, you know? And if you’re reading this article, odds are you’re an fagit.

Who is an fagit?

An fagit is any member of the male gender that pouts in a picture.

An fagit is any man that has no beard or intention of growing one.

An fagit is any man who writes in the following manner ‘omg yhur lyk the kewlest evur’.

An fagit is any man that uses the words/abbreviations ‘YOLO’ ‘swag’ ‘kewl’ and other such things.

An fagit is anyone that does not like girls

An fagit is anyone that disagrees with anything I’ve just said

Of course this list is not exhaustive. There are many other things that make you a fagit. PS: Being a fagit is not the same thing as being homosexual, if you’re the latter, you’re in God’s hands.


Now you want to be cool cat, you want to date girls, you want to roll like a rolling stone; here are some pointers to what you can do to not be an fagit

Put on your Autocorrect: There’s nothing more annoying than fagit-speak (the official language of fagits). Write in proper Queen’s English and only truncate when necessary.

Talk, Dress and Act Smart: Before you start talking about something absolutely trivial with a girl like “Oh, have you heard so-so artiste’s new album”? Just remember that if the girl enjoys discussions like that, she’s one of the reasons why you’re still an fagit. Dress smart. Don’t wear too tight pants and Sebaggos and a check shirt; that’s just a fagit uniform. Try new looks and don’t be overly neat. Act smart, solve problems, be useful to your society. Try answering a question in class or asking one yourself.

Don’t put your life story on Social Media: Don’t update every moment of your life on social media, if you must, put it on a blog. WordPress is free. Give the aura of mystery and you’ll see that cool people will be drawn to you.

Read, read, read: Fagits never read. They only watch movies and listen to music and talk about Vampire Diaries. Read a book today, the fact that you’re reading this article is very good and your rehabilitation from Fagithood is almost complete

Last but not least, have cool friends. The company you keep is very telling on you, and if you roll with fagits, you’ll be an fagit by association. Get cool friends.

I hope this has helped you on your journey to being cool. If it has, I suggest you read How to Get a Girl (and keep her).


One Response

  1. An fagit 2 years ago

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